My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
