She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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