Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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