i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
