It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
