The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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