I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
