this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
