i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
