So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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