I just cut my nipple shaving
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
