I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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