Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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