i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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