My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
