my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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