1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
