More tranny stories later!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
