Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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