Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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