Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
