you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
