She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
