Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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