what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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