i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My underwear smells like fireworks.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
