So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
