It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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