i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
