I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
