Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
