i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
