He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
