You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
