the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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