can we get nightvision for the apartment?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Drake has all the answers
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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