they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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