this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
