there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
