I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
