Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
