Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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