I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize