Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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