I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
