Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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