i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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