What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
