and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
