The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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