you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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