you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
