Do you still have your period?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
