I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
