ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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