You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
