he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
