It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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