she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
